Plan of Action + Kalara Fan Art

I’ve been quiet again here while I’ve been involved in yet another round of Kickstarters for my art business and a most needed vacation!  First off, I really want to thank everyone who went through the beta draft of the first arc of this story.  You’ve all provided such useful feedback and a great barometer of what I’m trying to accomplish with this undertaking!  I wanted to let you know I'm so very grateful and also where I intend to go from here.

Feedback Summary

The most important bit of feedback I got from nearly all of you was that the beginning of this story was very difficult to engage with in the very beginning. In truth, the beginning of this story was the most difficult part to write and I fear it shows!  I hadn't quite settled on a POV, if I wanted there to be a glimpse of Future Solar Kalara making observations (a holdover from the pre-Alpha draft written in a 1st person memoir format) or if any other Powers That Be should be mentioned.  The result was something rough that needs a fair amount of polish to shine!

Also, it seemed most readers weren’t opposed to the concept of Auntie Niyan, but so much of the beginning was paraphrased to rush us along to meeting Djali that it felt like a lot of exposition rather than something compelling enough to hook people into the beginning of this story.  During my time away, I've also been pondering on how I can fix this.

How to fix this?  The plan so far:

More of Kalara’s time in Auntie’s household - I want to expand on this time and immerse readers immediately into this household and into Kalara’s experience there.  Auntie was the one who taught Kalara the Immaculate Faith, about clever shrewdness, and eventually about deception.  Every master Kalara ever had in her lifetime taught her a skill she would utilize or respect later in life and it only feels proper for Auntie to have taught her something as well.

Prelude to Asha’s Fate - It probably shows that I invented the character Asha on a whim to show a dark mirror of what Kalara’s fate could’ve been if she were bought by the wrong person.  Why not show how she and Kalara bonded earlier before Auntie’s betrayal? Auntie grooming the children for nefarious purposes and Asha’s eventual sale could be what tips Kalara off to Auntie’s duplicitous nature.

What next?

The Beta draft continues! - Instead of making you guys endure yet another rewrite/expansion of the beginning of this story, I’m going to forge ahead and worry about writing it later.  I realized that instead of going back to add in Gem as I have, I’m cutting off opportunities for me to forge ahead and realize the flaws in my story structure that only hindsight can grant me.

So upwards and onwards!  Adding the expanded chapters for Gem was a good foundation to build on, but I’m going to leave adding more expansion and improvements for the final rough draft before the FINAL FINAL version of this story, which will also be posted here for your perusal when it's ready for the feedback phase!

I'll be completely rewriting Kalara's journey through the desert and her time in Chiaroscuro from the Alpha draft and continuing on into the next parts of this story that have never been expanded on from that original memoir before (IE. her time with Ahrun, in the Guild Academy, etc).

I was writing Alpha and Beta versions of this story in arcs instead of the full and complete story and now I think it would be best if I just barrel through one single Alpha draft including all arcs so that the future events can inform the past events, since that circularity has already happened to me when spontaneous character creation (a la Djali) led to the need to expand upon past events.

Prepping for Chiaroscuro - Before I wrote Gem, it helped immensely for me to create a Visual Guide for that location.  Making this guide helped me get a better sense of how I wanted to visualize the location and all the tiny little world-building details I might not have thought of without studying the source material and laying down some basics.  I want to do the same for the Glittering Desert and Chiaroscuro before I continue writing, which means I’ll be combing through all the reference material I’ve been collecting over the years and making another visual guide like I did for Gem.

So bear with me, folks!  Progress is always slow here because of my day job as an artist that tends to take up all my creative energy, but I haven’t given up on this endeavor yet.  I’m determined to make this story happen!

LET’S DO THIS!

For making it to the end of this post, here’s a treat for you!  Behold this adorable fan art of Kalara by Samantha Seaman.

“Oh did you think I didn’t notice those disreputable dealings? Sorry, darling, but you’ve been outbid! If you have bad luck settling paperwork for unknown reasons for the next 5 centuries, you know who to thank.”

The Uncrucified [BETA] - Chapter 8 - The Cost of Dreams

Author’s Note:  This chapter marks the end of our time in Gem!  I’m excited by how much more of the world we got to see here and to give Kalara a chance to shine as a character rather than an observer.  I hope you enjoyed the new material as much as I have enjoyed creating it! Gem is an amazing setting and I hope to revisit it in a future short story sometime.

I’ll be taking a break to ruminate on how all of these small changes I’ve made in Gem will affect the rest of this tale and to give new Beta Readers a chance to catch up.  Plus, now that we’ll be entering a different location, I’ll be creating a new visual guide for Chiaroscuro to help wrap my brain around all of the locale’s subtleties and how I want to envision it for this story. (If you missed my visual guide to Gem, you can check it out here!)

My gratitude to everyone who has made it this far in the story!  Your thoughts and feedback have really helped it improved with every iteration.

RATING:  PG

- Mature setting.

Reading Alternatives:

• You can comment over on Google Drive instead.  You can save this chapter in an ebook file format for any ereader at the link.  Click File>Download As to download in your favorite format.
• Access the entire Google Drive version of Beta chapters here.

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And thus on Plentimon’s Day did the dice roll again.  When Kalara returned that evening in a rush, she was prepared to make several excuses as to her tardiness, not to find Farook at home with an unfamiliar man seated at his table.

The Uncrucified [BETA] - Ch. 7 - The Waterbearer's Grave

Author's Note: Well, it took me nearly a year to get back in the writing action, but I AM back and I'm glad to be here!  Camp NaNoWriMo has always been a good spur for my Writing Muse, even if I wasn't able to participate every day in July.

The final part of this arc in Gem has flowed out of the proverbial stylus!  The next chapter is already ready to be posted and will be live next week.  Let's keep up the momentum!  Is anyone still reading?  Shout out in the comments and let me know you're alive!  Every little bit of encouragement (even just knowing you guys are lurking here) helps keep an author going.

RATING:  PG-13

- Suggestive content.

Reading Alternatives:

• You can comment over on Google Drive instead.  You can save this chapter in an ebook file format for any ereader at the link.  Click File>Download As to download in your favorite format.
• Access the entire Google Drive version of Beta chapters here.

---

Kalara sighed deeply as she paused a block before Old Lady Tehsun’s stall in the market and tightened her shawl across her face, fidgeting nervously.  What on earth was she doing here?  She’d barely gotten any sleep, her mind racing with the unpleasant possibilities in her future in Farook’s household that were nearly as unpleasant as the possibilities of associating with an idiot jewel thief.  

Hard Times + Art Catch Up!

It'll be almost a year now since I've written a chapter of The Uncrucified and that makes me feel monumentally sad!  It was about this time last year that everything just went wrong.  My husband was diagnosed with a rare form of Hodgkin's Lymphoma, which put a stop to everything.

Even when we got out of the gauntlet of surgeries and treatments and finally celebrated my husband being in remission about a month ago, we had been simultaneously saddled with medical debt and a level of stress that absolutely crushed the creativity and energy out of my life.  I really couldn't do much more than what was required of me so when I finally had spare time to pay attention to my personal projects, I just couldn't get motivated.

This story fell by the wayside and while I want to finish it and have visions of where I want it to go, now I'm wondering if anyone out there is still interested?  My motivation has been at an all-time low...

...So if you're out there and you give a damn about this story, let me know?  Any little light of encouragement (and especially anyone willing to leave much-needed feedback) will help me rekindle that spark for it!

Art Catchup

There HAVE at least been some art developments for this project that I forgot to share here, so at least it's not all doom and gloom eh?  Behold all the art I forgot to post here in the past year or so!

Character Sheet: Kalara Vadras

Kalara's gotten some fan love in the community in the past, so I finally did this sheet a long while ago to help collect all of her visual odds and ends for easy reference!

You can see a complete detailed biography of Kalara + a gallery of references here!

You can also watch a time lapse of how I made this sheet here:

Khazan by Jadehand

A character you haven't met in the story yet is Khazan, the Starless Dragon, a Fire Aspect bandit who becomes a mentor of sorts for Khalara during her fledgling Solar days!  I've actually written out a good deal of their story in the unpublished sequel created during NaNoWriMo of long ago that inspired me to go back and rewrite The Uncrucified, so consider this a teaser of things to come if I can ever finish this prequel story!  You can like Jadehand's tumblr post of this art here.

 

I love how Jadehand gave him an over the top beard and a cheesy dad presence.  It fits him perfectly!

Character Biographies

If you just want to be spoiled on what happens in this story and want to have fun getting to know some of the characters from it, I've gone ahead and created in-depth character biographies as references over at Refsheet.  Enjoy!  Ye have been spoiler warned!

• Character Biography - Kalara Vadras
• Character Biography - Khazan, the Starless Dragon
• Character Biography - Laughing Fox

Exalted Art Challenge

In an effort to pull myself back into Exalted and get motivated for this story, I'm considering trying to do the 30 day art challenge I created with the help of the Exalted community.  Perhaps I could share my progress here to bring some new life to this blog?  Would that be something you all would be interested in?

That's all I have for now!  Things have been looking up in life with my husband's improving health, a new job, and a relief from all the stress.  I really hope it won't be another year before I can come back to this project fresh and fluffy and ready to show the world the awesomeness of a Solar learning they can change the world AND punch gods in the face! 

The Uncrucified [BETA] - Chapter 6 - Loaded Die

Author's Note: GASP!  It's another chapter in less than a month before posting the last one?  I'm totally smothering you guys!  I seem to have found my groove with this story after putting it through the Story Spine Exercise suggested by Invisible Ink from Brian MacDonald.  This exercise forced me to really think about what exactly I wanted to convey with this story.  What lesson am I trying to teach?  How does Kalara evolve and where is she going to end up at the end of her full character arc?  Does she even have an arc?

She's long existed in my mind as a cautionary tale (as most Solars do in my opinion) against the danger of attaining power and becoming too focused on what she views as noble causes.  These early chapters are the stage setting for what really drives her later on in life when she tries to forge herself into being everything she wasn't before.

The Plot Spine exercise also made me realize I'm going to have to diverge from the story of the campaign that inspired her, but more about that later.  Without further ado, on to the chapter!

RATING:  PG-13
- Suggestive content.

Reading Alternatives:

• Comment on Google Drive instead.  You can save this chapter in an ebook file format for any ereader at the link.  Click File>Download As to download in your favorite format.

• Access the entire Google Drive version of Beta chapters here.

Once again, Kalara found herself moving breathlessly through the tunnels, hurried along by Djali’s fast pace.  He navigated with ease through the dark, deft as ever, pulling her by the hand when her pace wasn’t satisfactory.  These weren’t the familiar and welcoming tunnels of the gem district of the market anymore, but the seedier corners further away from the eyes of the city guard.  Dreamstone addicts slept in messy corners, while less reputable salesman roamed the streets peddling unsavory wares.  She might have been more worried if she were with anyone else, if she wasn’t so caught up in the glow he brought back into her life.

He’s alive.  He’s alive!  Happy tears were still drying on her face when they finally ducked into a crevice, Djali bidding her to be careful as they made their way into a barely perceptible crag that led upwards into a cleverly hidden passageway rimmed with stalactites.  Djali removed a straight piece of glass from his pocket, peering through it to reveal a glowing vein of some unknown mineral that marked the entrance she never would have noticed.

“And here we are!”  He guided Kalara through the entryway so she wouldn’t hit her head on the low arc of it.

The Uncrucified [BETA] - Chapter 5 - Daydreams

Author's Note:  Wow has it really been since October of last year that I posted a new chapter???  Life really got away from me there while I've been wrapping up a passion project I've been working on for 3 years and just too tired to do much but sleep or play video games when my day's work was done!

I also found this chapter particularly difficult to write.  I always felt like after the high of Kalara's last parting that wrapping up the loose ends from that meltdown of the plot seemed too tedious and boring, but after forcing my way through that writer's block, I feel like this chapter ends on a high note!

And wow we're still in Gem!  I thought our time here would be shorter than it has been, but I've happily unpacked more inspiration from its fascinating depths.  All the research I did for the visual guide has given me so many ideas, some which I'm sure might show up later with another character I've been pondering a side story for...because having one draft constantly in flux is not enough, apparently!  (Spoiler Alert:  I'm thinking Kalara's surrogate father, Ahrun Vadras, has had his own interesting adventures in The South, considering his reputation as a traveling tinkerer and love of firewands.  It'd be fun to explore the politics of the Houses of Gem, considering Kalara is not really party to all of their intrigue).

Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this break from the silence and the new chapter! I value any thoughts and feedback you have for me in comments, even if it's just to let me know you're enjoying my poor gal's meanderings in the mire of tragic backstory.  Hopefully, the next chapter will not take so long to write now that we've kicked things off again!

RATING: G

Reading Alternatives:

• Comment on Google Drive instead.  You can save this chapter in an ebook file format for any ereader at the link.  Click File>Download As to download in your favorite format.

• Access the entire Google Drive version of Beta chapters here.

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The quiet chaos of grief felt like it should have consumed her, that upon arriving at yet another home in the shade of a grander lava tube, Kalara should have cried for the loss of her friends and the loss of Djali.  Instead, numbness set in as Farook rode with her to her new home.  Life, as it happened, seemed to continue on, ignorant of the cares of a Scrap like her.  Farook introduced Kalara to her new quarters in his shaded abode, a little room barely larger than a closet with a small bed, half of the space full of scrolls and boxes.  He was an appraiser in the grand scheme of House Iblan, his humble holdings luxurious enough to be shaded from the sun and furnished with woven carpets, but not near as decadent as Kalara might have imagined for someone descended from the venerable goldsmiths of Iblan.

Iblan Farook cracked his back as he stretched from their trip in the sedan chair, the aging man more past his prime than he liked to let on.  “Clean up the mess tomorrow and the space is yours.”  He gestured lazily to the piles of parchment.  “I wasn’t expecting to win a slave.  Lucky girl!”  He laughed and placed a hand on her shoulder,  Kalara’s green eyes flicking up to take in his beard-lined face, searching there for some clue as to whether that touch meant good or ill.  Apparent kindness, she had learned, did not protect you from being sent off to the next master. Every time a new master bought her contract was a gamble of Plentimon’s dice between kind and cruel.  So far she had been rolling well, too well.

Concept Art: Early Sketches of Koh and the Pristine Guild Logo

Been meaning to scan this in for ages! Here's a page from my sketchbook with an early doodle of Kalara when she first came into our Exalted game as Koh the Silver-Tongued Devil, Merchant Prince for a new upstart Guild and fugitive slave as her cover story.

Her Pristine Guild's logo was originally the Old Realm for the letter "G" (for the Guild) with the Eclipse Caste mark graffitied over the Guild's original logo with gold paint. As her Guild grew, she added a phoenix to the banner, which was inspired by their first battle against the soldiers who showed up to take back other fugitive slaves she was protecting.

Her new ally, a Twilight Caste sorceress, summoned a phoenix that flew over the battlefield, singing songs as he went, and burning through their enemies. Plus, a phoenix seems fitting for Kalara and her Guild, who have a philosophy of burning down the old to build things anew.

Plus, my scribbly notes about NPCs and politics in our game at the time for flavor!