The Uncrucified [BETA] - Chapter 6 - Loaded Die

Author's Note: GASP!  It's another chapter in less than a month before posting the last one?  I'm totally smothering you guys!  I seem to have found my groove with this story after putting it through the Story Spine Exercise suggested by Invisible Ink from Brian MacDonald.  This exercise forced me to really think about what exactly I wanted to convey with this story.  What lesson am I trying to teach?  How does Kalara evolve and where is she going to end up at the end of her full character arc?  Does she even have an arc?

She's long existed in my mind as a cautionary tale (as most Solars do in my opinion) against the danger of attaining power and becoming too focused on what she views as noble causes.  These early chapters are the stage setting for what really drives her later on in life when she tries to forge herself into being everything she wasn't before.

The Plot Spine exercise also made me realize I'm going to have to diverge from the story of the campaign that inspired her, but more about that later.  Without further ado, on to the chapter!

RATING:  PG-13
- Suggestive content.

Reading Alternatives:

• Comment on Google Drive instead.  You can save this chapter in an ebook file format for any ereader at the link.  Click File>Download As to download in your favorite format.

• Access the entire Google Drive version of Beta chapters here.

Once again, Kalara found herself moving breathlessly through the tunnels, hurried along by Djali’s fast pace.  He navigated with ease through the dark, deft as ever, pulling her by the hand when her pace wasn’t satisfactory.  These weren’t the familiar and welcoming tunnels of the gem district of the market anymore, but the seedier corners further away from the eyes of the city guard.  Dreamstone addicts slept in messy corners, while less reputable salesman roamed the streets peddling unsavory wares.  She might have been more worried if she were with anyone else, if she wasn’t so caught up in the glow he brought back into her life.

He’s alive.  He’s alive!  Happy tears were still drying on her face when they finally ducked into a crevice, Djali bidding her to be careful as they made their way into a barely perceptible crag that led upwards into a cleverly hidden passageway rimmed with stalactites.  Djali removed a straight piece of glass from his pocket, peering through it to reveal a glowing vein of some unknown mineral that marked the entrance she never would have noticed.

“And here we are!”  He guided Kalara through the entryway so she wouldn’t hit her head on the low arc of it.

The Uncrucified [BETA] - Chapter 5 - Daydreams

Author's Note:  Wow has it really been since October of last year that I posted a new chapter???  Life really got away from me there while I've been wrapping up a passion project I've been working on for 3 years and just too tired to do much but sleep or play video games when my day's work was done!

I also found this chapter particularly difficult to write.  I always felt like after the high of Kalara's last parting that wrapping up the loose ends from that meltdown of the plot seemed too tedious and boring, but after forcing my way through that writer's block, I feel like this chapter ends on a high note!

And wow we're still in Gem!  I thought our time here would be shorter than it has been, but I've happily unpacked more inspiration from its fascinating depths.  All the research I did for the visual guide has given me so many ideas, some which I'm sure might show up later with another character I've been pondering a side story for...because having one draft constantly in flux is not enough, apparently!  (Spoiler Alert:  I'm thinking Kalara's surrogate father, Ahrun Vadras, has had his own interesting adventures in The South, considering his reputation as a traveling tinkerer and love of firewands.  It'd be fun to explore the politics of the Houses of Gem, considering Kalara is not really party to all of their intrigue).

Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this break from the silence and the new chapter! I value any thoughts and feedback you have for me in comments, even if it's just to let me know you're enjoying my poor gal's meanderings in the mire of tragic backstory.  Hopefully, the next chapter will not take so long to write now that we've kicked things off again!

RATING: G

Reading Alternatives:

• Comment on Google Drive instead.  You can save this chapter in an ebook file format for any ereader at the link.  Click File>Download As to download in your favorite format.

• Access the entire Google Drive version of Beta chapters here.

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The quiet chaos of grief felt like it should have consumed her, that upon arriving at yet another home in the shade of a grander lava tube, Kalara should have cried for the loss of her friends and the loss of Djali.  Instead, numbness set in as Farook rode with her to her new home.  Life, as it happened, seemed to continue on, ignorant of the cares of a Scrap like her.  Farook introduced Kalara to her new quarters in his shaded abode, a little room barely larger than a closet with a small bed, half of the space full of scrolls and boxes.  He was an appraiser in the grand scheme of House Iblan, his humble holdings luxurious enough to be shaded from the sun and furnished with woven carpets, but not near as decadent as Kalara might have imagined for someone descended from the venerable goldsmiths of Iblan.

Iblan Farook cracked his back as he stretched from their trip in the sedan chair, the aging man more past his prime than he liked to let on.  “Clean up the mess tomorrow and the space is yours.”  He gestured lazily to the piles of parchment.  “I wasn’t expecting to win a slave.  Lucky girl!”  He laughed and placed a hand on her shoulder,  Kalara’s green eyes flicking up to take in his beard-lined face, searching there for some clue as to whether that touch meant good or ill.  Apparent kindness, she had learned, did not protect you from being sent off to the next master. Every time a new master bought her contract was a gamble of Plentimon’s dice between kind and cruel.  So far she had been rolling well, too well.

Concept Art: Early Sketches of Koh and the Pristine Guild Logo

Been meaning to scan this in for ages! Here's a page from my sketchbook with an early doodle of Kalara when she first came into our Exalted game as Koh the Silver-Tongued Devil, Merchant Prince for a new upstart Guild and fugitive slave as her cover story.

Her Pristine Guild's logo was originally the Old Realm for the letter "G" (for the Guild) with the Eclipse Caste mark graffitied over the Guild's original logo with gold paint. As her Guild grew, she added a phoenix to the banner, which was inspired by their first battle against the soldiers who showed up to take back other fugitive slaves she was protecting.

Her new ally, a Twilight Caste sorceress, summoned a phoenix that flew over the battlefield, singing songs as he went, and burning through their enemies. Plus, a phoenix seems fitting for Kalara and her Guild, who have a philosophy of burning down the old to build things anew.

Plus, my scribbly notes about NPCs and politics in our game at the time for flavor!

Life Signs & Thoughts on Narrative Framing

So I took a break from writing more on the beta draft of The Uncrucified so I could have some time away from the words for awhile.

Time away turned into a hectic holiday season, vacation, and months since I last posted any chapters!  Sorry about that, but it was very hard to steal away any time to appease my writing muse after some very late work nights.

It's 2018 now and that means I want to re-dedicate myself to writing more!  This story has been a great way to stretch my legs and dust of those skills I haven't used since college when I was writing edgy poetry and Milton analysis for my English degree.

As for where we're going from here?  So far, the few folks who have made it through the new beta stuff have reacted positively to the new scenes and my writing style.  But as a writer, I have to admit I feel something is missing from this story.  Perhaps its urgency?  The way her story is structured is very linear and chronological right now.

This happens, then this, then this.  Unlike Kalara's original memoir that is written in the framework of her future badass self reflecting on her former self, this story reads like a calendar.

After thinking long and hard about this, I realized the problem might be that so much of what's awesome about Kalara happens later on in her life.  She's a gunslinging badass king of thieves with superpowers!  But we're just not there yet.

Kalara's early years interest me because there's poetry in the fact she isn't this amazing badass yet, that everything she ever chose to do in her life led up to this moment where she was given the power to unlock that potential lurking within herself to punch gods in the face and well and truly change the world the way she had always striven to do.

Surely there's a way to combine the two?  The longer I've thought about this, the longer I realize it would be amazing to bring that original framework back in to have Kalara's future self reflecting on moments from her past relevant to what adventures she might be having as a fledgling Solar struggling with her newfound powers and establishing her new Guild.  Non-linearity would allow for such wonderful potential with deeper suspense and the ability to bring more layers of meaning to the various moments of importance in her life.

lol so I guess this means I'm due for YET ANOTHER rewrite!  What would you even call that?  A Charlie draft? 

For now, however, I'm just going to keep writing this draft chronologically and exploring in long form all the little emotions and events that led up to Kalara's current self.  I can always cut bits of it into a rewrite later.  Writing what I have now has been a great exercise and valuable exploration of her character!  Plus, I wouldn't have discovered some of the fun spontaneous gems like Djali if I hadn't gone back and expanded.

So here's to more writing in 2018!  Let's keep this thing going!