I’ve been quiet again here while I’ve been involved in yet another round of Kickstarters for my art business and a most needed vacation! First off, I really want to thank everyone who went through the beta draft of the first arc of this story. You’ve all provided such useful feedback and a great barometer of what I’m trying to accomplish with this undertaking! I wanted to let you know I'm so very grateful and also where I intend to go from here.
Feedback Summary
The most important bit of feedback I got from nearly all of you was that the beginning of this story was very difficult to engage with in the very beginning. In truth, the beginning of this story was the most difficult part to write and I fear it shows! I hadn't quite settled on a POV, if I wanted there to be a glimpse of Future Solar Kalara making observations (a holdover from the pre-Alpha draft written in a 1st person memoir format) or if any other Powers That Be should be mentioned. The result was something rough that needs a fair amount of polish to shine!
Also, it seemed most readers weren’t opposed to the concept of Auntie Niyan, but so much of the beginning was paraphrased to rush us along to meeting Djali that it felt like a lot of exposition rather than something compelling enough to hook people into the beginning of this story. During my time away, I've also been pondering on how I can fix this.
Also, it seemed most readers weren’t opposed to the concept of Auntie Niyan, but so much of the beginning was paraphrased to rush us along to meeting Djali that it felt like a lot of exposition rather than something compelling enough to hook people into the beginning of this story. During my time away, I've also been pondering on how I can fix this.
How to fix this? The plan so far:
More of Kalara’s time in Auntie’s household - I want to expand on this time and immerse readers immediately into this household and into Kalara’s experience there. Auntie was the one who taught Kalara the Immaculate Faith, about clever shrewdness, and eventually about deception. Every master Kalara ever had in her lifetime taught her a skill she would utilize or respect later in life and it only feels proper for Auntie to have taught her something as well.
Prelude to Asha’s Fate - It probably shows that I invented the character Asha on a whim to show a dark mirror of what Kalara’s fate could’ve been if she were bought by the wrong person. Why not show how she and Kalara bonded earlier before Auntie’s betrayal? Auntie grooming the children for nefarious purposes and Asha’s eventual sale could be what tips Kalara off to Auntie’s duplicitous nature.
What next?
The Beta draft continues! - Instead of making you guys endure yet another rewrite/expansion of the beginning of this story, I’m going to forge ahead and worry about writing it later. I realized that instead of going back to add in Gem as I have, I’m cutting off opportunities for me to forge ahead and realize the flaws in my story structure that only hindsight can grant me.
So upwards and onwards! Adding the expanded chapters for Gem was a good foundation to build on, but I’m going to leave adding more expansion and improvements for the final rough draft before the FINAL FINAL version of this story, which will also be posted here for your perusal when it's ready for the feedback phase!
I'll be completely rewriting Kalara's journey through the desert and her time in Chiaroscuro from the Alpha draft and continuing on into the next parts of this story that have never been expanded on from that original memoir before (IE. her time with Ahrun, in the Guild Academy, etc).
I was writing Alpha and Beta versions of this story in arcs instead of the full and complete story and now I think it would be best if I just barrel through one single Alpha draft including all arcs so that the future events can inform the past events, since that circularity has already happened to me when spontaneous character creation (a la Djali) led to the need to expand upon past events.
So upwards and onwards! Adding the expanded chapters for Gem was a good foundation to build on, but I’m going to leave adding more expansion and improvements for the final rough draft before the FINAL FINAL version of this story, which will also be posted here for your perusal when it's ready for the feedback phase!
I'll be completely rewriting Kalara's journey through the desert and her time in Chiaroscuro from the Alpha draft and continuing on into the next parts of this story that have never been expanded on from that original memoir before (IE. her time with Ahrun, in the Guild Academy, etc).
I was writing Alpha and Beta versions of this story in arcs instead of the full and complete story and now I think it would be best if I just barrel through one single Alpha draft including all arcs so that the future events can inform the past events, since that circularity has already happened to me when spontaneous character creation (a la Djali) led to the need to expand upon past events.
Prepping for Chiaroscuro - Before I wrote Gem, it helped immensely for me to create a Visual Guide for that location. Making this guide helped me get a better sense of how I wanted to visualize the location and all the tiny little world-building details I might not have thought of without studying the source material and laying down some basics. I want to do the same for the Glittering Desert and Chiaroscuro before I continue writing, which means I’ll be combing through all the reference material I’ve been collecting over the years and making another visual guide like I did for Gem.
So bear with me, folks! Progress is always slow here because of my day job as an artist that tends to take up all my creative energy, but I haven’t given up on this endeavor yet. I’m determined to make this story happen!
LET’S DO THIS!
For making it to the end of this post, here’s a treat for you! Behold this adorable fan art of Kalara by Samantha Seaman.
